The Top 18 Pickup Lines Used by Veterinarians


"I've got a thermometer and a jar of Vaseline with your name on it, fuzzy butt!"

"I've been bad. Wanna rub my nose in it and spank me?"

"I think I'm going to have to put you down tonight."

"Whoa! Look at THOSE puppies!!"

"Of course I'm glad to see you ... I always piddle on the floor when I get excited."

"Your beak says no, but your tail feathers say yes!"

"If I look at you any longer, I'll have to put on a satellite dish collar to keep from licking myself raw."

"Can I do it doggie style?!? Hell, I have a doctorate!"

"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hump my leg?"

"Give me a kiss! Give me a kiss! Who's the good girl?!? Yes, you are the very good girl!!"

"Hey, Baby, has this bar stool already been marked?"

"They say it's a dog-eat-dog world. Rrrrowff!"

"Is it warm in here, or are you in heat?"

"If I had a dog that looked like you, I'd shave its ass and make it walk backward -- to dinner and a movie."

"Oooh, your butt smells great -- is that Obsession?"

"Let's get out of this toilet and go get a real drink."

"...but that's 21 in dog inches!"

and the Number 1 Pickup Line Used by Veterinarians...


"Baby, I feel a hose-spraying in our immediate future!"